fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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