there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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