did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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