A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize