My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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