Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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