I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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