So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
