Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
