just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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