And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
