btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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