we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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