Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize