He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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