I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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