i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
