i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
