i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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