let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
