I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
