I didn't shave. On purpose
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
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I woke up with your vibrator in my face
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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