just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
cat food counts as protein by the way
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize