I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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