So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
