you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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