I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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