your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
