So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
