You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
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Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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