her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Randomize
