I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
