you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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