I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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