brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.