Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link

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  (440): And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link http://tfl.nu/gvkq
  Replies (9) Good night (907) Bad night (1994)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to

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  (614): I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to http://tfl.nu/gbtt
  Replies (52) Good night (993) Bad night (6027)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.

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  (216): Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product. http://tfl.nu/f048
  Replies (24) Good night (869) Bad night (4176)
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  (661): View more from California

  Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?

  (1-661): View more from California

  What the hell did you do last night?!

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  (661): Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy? (1-661): What the hell did you do last night?! http://tfl.nu/xxav
  Replies (48) Good night (886) Bad night (9968)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....

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  (970): just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address.... http://tfl.nu/ivpp
  Replies (28) Good night (6314) Bad night (2092)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry

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  (602): shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry http://tfl.nu/ty7k
  Replies (16) Good night (7959) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.

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  (706): She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be. http://tfl.nu/hcpi
  Replies (14) Good night (1219) Bad night (3526)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.

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  (207): I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee. http://tfl.nu/4bjn
  Replies (18) Good night (4811) Bad night (1201)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?

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  (647): he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird? http://tfl.nu/hpqu
  Replies (7) Good night (3111) Bad night (1236)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.

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  (503): I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight. http://tfl.nu/rrui
  Replies (8) Good night (2805) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".

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  (916): Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles". http://tfl.nu/t7tu
  Replies (4) Good night (1085) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him

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  (843): Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him http://tfl.nu/dncw
  Replies (4) Good night (1134) Bad night (480)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"

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  (701): I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day" http://tfl.nu/o3b3
  Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (384)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina

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  (817): Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina http://tfl.nu/3njj
  Replies (5) Good night (406) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO

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  (713): My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO http://tfl.nu/1per
  Replies (1) Good night (651) Bad night (390)

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