Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.