Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

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  (805) she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat. http://tfl.nu/up7k
  Replies (12) Good night (1456) Bad night (1624)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers

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  (614): Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers http://tfl.nu/1ki8
  Replies (29) Good night (860) Bad night (10284)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.

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  (660): And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this. http://tfl.nu/if6q
  Replies (3) Good night (3117) Bad night (725)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

  (713): View more from Texas

  When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

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  (979): You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands (713): When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things http://tfl.nu/2j2p
  Replies (28) Good night (5549) Bad night (994)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well

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  (412): At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well http://tfl.nu/es2k
  Replies (7) Good night (4042) Bad night (879)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated

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  (812): I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated http://tfl.nu/yas8
  Replies (6) Good night (1014) Bad night (3356)
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  (510): View more from California

  I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.

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  (510): I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper. http://tfl.nu/fogv
  Replies (6) Good night (1668) Bad night (863)
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  (213): View more from California

  I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.

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  (213): I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing. http://tfl.nu/4hkr
  Replies (1) Good night (846) Bad night (2421)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.

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  (705): The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me. http://tfl.nu/d1xs
  Replies (4) Good night (989) Bad night (409)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.

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  (336): You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens. http://tfl.nu/3z5p
  Replies (6) Good night (1368) Bad night (423)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.

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  (262): I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry. http://tfl.nu/6bad
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (549)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I seemed to have misplaced my pants...

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  (540): Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?.... (1-540): I seemed to have misplaced my pants... http://tfl.nu/s4v6
  Replies (5) Good night (1048) Bad night (362)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame

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  (306): I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame http://tfl.nu/y48t
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (263)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated

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  (413): My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated http://tfl.nu/t4rd
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (302)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night

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  (678): I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night http://tfl.nu/4dps
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (323)

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