somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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