OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
