I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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