I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize