she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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