Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
