the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
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Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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