how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
