Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
