I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
