Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
