thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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