Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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