she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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