Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
