dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
