After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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