i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
