So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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