shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
