You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
