you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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