I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
