honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
These tits shall not be calmed
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
