So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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